今天在Gym跑步的时候看Bon Jovi很早以前的video。不知道是他，只是看这个人忘情的唱着，很感动。有一点顽皮的脸，时常唱着唱着就笑起来了。我当时想，那笑容应该是真心的吧，做着自己喜欢的事情，就是开心的。即使是传说中迷乱的摇滚歌手，也有阳光的一面。
桑拿室里有很好闻的木头香味，总是觉得置身于一个很大的烤面包房。香甜的味道。
但是出来冲凉时，差一点就晕了。因为一直没吃东西又狂做运动。
出来去Tesco买了黄瓜，cherry tomato和grapefruit，回去用番茄烧牛肉，然后用黄瓜，avocado和tomato做沙拉，再把冰箱里的酒喝光了。
吃饱了就想要犯困。Viv说睡前喝蜂蜜水会作好梦，希望今晚做个好梦。
2007/7/4
Valder Fields
今天一整天都在听Valder Fields。
那种坐在那里，有大把时间，却不知该怎么办的感觉，真是让人害怕
Valder Fields I was found on the ground by the fountain about a fields of a summer stride |
逛街后
前天晚上9点睡12点就醒了，受着罪恶感的折磨爬起来看书，居然效果还不错。看到4点的样子又躺下去了，朦胧中突然想到今天下楼买东西，好像银行卡没有带回来。直觉这种东西真是有够准，我爬起来看平常放零钱的小篮子，看门口放钥匙的篮子，看到没有我就大概知道不见了。再躺回去，虽然并不是特别担心，因为补办就没事了，脑子却突然处于特别清晰的状态。开始回想起一些年代很久远的事情，而且很多以前都不清楚的细节，都变得历历在目，还蛮恐怖的。就这样到八点多才睡着。
逛街的内容......基本不是在逛，是在吃喝。中午去Harvy Nicols的Fourth Floor Resturant吃steak，接着五点钟去opal lounge喝东西。喝了一杯红酒Viv就说醉了，结果要去Sushiya吃点东西。于是我们从Princess st.走到Haymarket,一路东到西歪。其实我没有很醉，但是很enjoy那种dizzy的感觉。这大概就是所谓的称酒醉乱吧，呵呵。
收获是：高跟鞋一双。是在吃喝的空隙抢到的。至于tee，就下次再说吧。
逛街的内容......基本不是在逛，是在吃喝。中午去Harvy Nicols的Fourth Floor Resturant吃steak，接着五点钟去opal lounge喝东西。喝了一杯红酒Viv就说醉了，结果要去Sushiya吃点东西。于是我们从Princess st.走到Haymarket,一路东到西歪。其实我没有很醉，但是很enjoy那种dizzy的感觉。这大概就是所谓的称酒醉乱吧，呵呵。
收获是：高跟鞋一双。是在吃喝的空隙抢到的。至于tee，就下次再说吧。
2007/7/2
逛街前
这几天都是这样的，信誓旦旦说要看书，打开电脑就开始聊天，然后一天就这样晃过去了。我的一天就在惶恐和罪恶感中度过，然后临睡前发誓明天一定要好好看书。
我真是自律力极差的小孩。
今天已经在为明天的shopping做准备了。决定要买苹果上介绍的Murad Clarifying Cleanser，反正正好洗面奶用完了。另外还要买一双高跟鞋，因为开始要学salsa了。想着给自己买几件简单的tee，因为虽然夏天迟迟不来，但是也可以偷偷把夏天穿在身上。墨镜也要买了，钱包也该换一个新的了。
Vivian说明天会10点钟准时冲进我的房间，因为以我的个性大概要到天黑才出的了门。想想看我好像有几个世纪没有认真逛过街了，那种在一堆衣服里面认真挑选的感觉好像很久远很久远了。
天啊，真是害怕我的间歇性购物狂会发作，现在可没有多少钱可以给我挥霍。
唉，今晚又要在内疚中入睡吗。
我真是自律力极差的小孩。
今天已经在为明天的shopping做准备了。决定要买苹果上介绍的Murad Clarifying Cleanser，反正正好洗面奶用完了。另外还要买一双高跟鞋，因为开始要学salsa了。想着给自己买几件简单的tee，因为虽然夏天迟迟不来，但是也可以偷偷把夏天穿在身上。墨镜也要买了，钱包也该换一个新的了。
Vivian说明天会10点钟准时冲进我的房间，因为以我的个性大概要到天黑才出的了门。想想看我好像有几个世纪没有认真逛过街了，那种在一堆衣服里面认真挑选的感觉好像很久远很久远了。
天啊，真是害怕我的间歇性购物狂会发作，现在可没有多少钱可以给我挥霍。
唉，今晚又要在内疚中入睡吗。
2007/7/1
寵上天
看书的时候听到这首歌，突然很开心。没心没肺的开心。
五月天 - 宠上天 |
Words from Trumpet
"Death even for the dead is slow. I can feel Joss around this room with the fire going strong. He pulls and then lets go, pulls and lets go. Slack one minute, tight the next. I see his whole stomach suck in all the air then let it out again. When his tomach dips in like that, when he goes hollow, I rub the back of his hand untill he lets his breath out again.I can see the dead Joss quite clearly now."
"I didn't feel like I was living a lie. I felt like I was living a life. Hindsight is a lie."
"I sit down opposite Joss's armchair. The last few days of his life keep replaying in front of my eyes, like a film. Like a special bit in a film that you watch over and over again. I can't stop playing. Joss stares at me. He isn't trying to speak.
He struggles for three days. I don't sleep at all. I nod in and out of my own existence with him. Time is strange for us both. We have our own time now. The light glows and fades and glows again. Time is like a heron in the sky flying, gliding but not seeming to be moving anywhere, flying on the spot. He can't speak and I can't either. We have gone beyongd words. Out there-stranded, beyond time and language.
I walk right up to the border with him, supposing the weight of him on my shouders. He is light now, I feel him crossing over. I know I have turn back. I leave him there and at the same time I carry him back."
"Death hath ten thousand several doors
For men to take their exits"
"That's why you hear a lot of people say that the dead are the dead are unrecognizable. The feason the families can barely connects the dead person to the living person is because the dead person has changed."
"Death is larger than life."
--From Trumpet
My words:
the reason why people thought death to be so morbid, and got infuriated when people like the funeral planner in the book talked about, is becuase no one can ever accept the fact that they are going to die one day. Death is too true to believe.
"I didn't feel like I was living a lie. I felt like I was living a life. Hindsight is a lie."
"I sit down opposite Joss's armchair. The last few days of his life keep replaying in front of my eyes, like a film. Like a special bit in a film that you watch over and over again. I can't stop playing. Joss stares at me. He isn't trying to speak.
He struggles for three days. I don't sleep at all. I nod in and out of my own existence with him. Time is strange for us both. We have our own time now. The light glows and fades and glows again. Time is like a heron in the sky flying, gliding but not seeming to be moving anywhere, flying on the spot. He can't speak and I can't either. We have gone beyongd words. Out there-stranded, beyond time and language.
I walk right up to the border with him, supposing the weight of him on my shouders. He is light now, I feel him crossing over. I know I have turn back. I leave him there and at the same time I carry him back."
"Death hath ten thousand several doors
For men to take their exits"
"That's why you hear a lot of people say that the dead are the dead are unrecognizable. The feason the families can barely connects the dead person to the living person is because the dead person has changed."
"Death is larger than life."
--From Trumpet
My words:
the reason why people thought death to be so morbid, and got infuriated when people like the funeral planner in the book talked about, is becuase no one can ever accept the fact that they are going to die one day. Death is too true to believe.
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